As I near the arrival of our little girl, our daughter, I feel completely unprepared. We moved 300 miles away and just now got all of our things. Not that there was much. The house is a disaster zone, her crib sits in pieces three hundred miles away, our home needs so much work done, and I have for the first time a very excited little boy about Christmas.
There is no nervous anticipation. So far there have only been two maternity pictures (much less a photo shoot) and no 4d ultrasound. The occasional kick although she has gained a lot of force in the last few weeks is really one of the only reminders I am pregnant. A new doctor was just secured and I had completely forgotten about my rho gam shot.
And yet sitting in that hospital, which could easily be a five star resort thank god I live in this country, I couldn’t help but be smacked with excitement. I dreamed of her little face and let my arms feel the invisible weight of her.
In the mad hurry that is our lives lately we have been feeling unprepared to parent one let alone two. But God has been showing us that constantly this year, throwing obstacles and tests at us to teach us. So we could learn to be faithful and give it to him. It’s a tough concept for a type A like me but one he’s proven is true.
Last night Gage and Adam rubbed my belly with lotion and talked to her trying desperately for her to kick them. Which she obligingly did. And it was an amazing feeling watching the two men who will love her most in her life anxiously waiting for her to respond to them. She’s a lucky girl no matter what.
So for now I’ll let my faith take over and sit in happy anticipation of our daughter.